These picture are a hint for PART II of this post... Any guesses?
I'm taking you back to my sophomore year of college... I was 20 years old, and although a part of me had always thought about teaching, I was actually in my first clinical for nursing school. Yep. I had made the cut and here I was... crying in a bathroom... again. I think I cry when I'm stressed :).
I had worked through three long and challenging semesters of terrifying science classes while maintaining my GPA so I could get into, what I thought was, my dream.
Long story short, I was pretty miserable, but I thought it was just the stress of nursing school getting to me, so I carried on through care plans, class (with the same people every single day for every single class), crying during clinicals, and a serious amount of school and self-induced stress... That being said, I'm not one to "quit," so I was determined to "make it through."
Fast forward to the summer.... I got my junior year clinical and class schedule (in nursing school, they pick your classes and clinical times for you... even if it means Saturday clinicals in a town 45 minutes away).
I looked at the schedule over and over again, and just kept thinking, "I can't do this." Not to mention, I had a pretty beautiful schedule and I still didn't want to do it.
This was weeks before school started. I had spent a lot of time, money, and brain power to get where I was, so I just kept thinking of it as a countdown to get through...
I finally went to my mom, who is seriously the smartest person I know, and has an insane amount of intuition about all of her kids. Basically if she tells me to do it, I probably will. However, she often keeps her mouth shut, because she knows I have to figure it out myself.
I didn't want to tell her, because like me, she had also spent a lot of time, money, and brain power on me being in nursing school. I think I said, "I don't think I want to be a nurse," and my mom basically said, "Okay." I think I thought she would try to talk me out of it, but later she said, she didn't think I really ever wanted to be a nurse. Mother's intuition people.
Anyway, I told her "I *think* I want to go into education." It sounds like I didn't really know, but I did. I have always wanted to be a teacher more than anything, but I also thought I needed to make some money, so nursing was the natural choice. I learned very quickly how money doesn't buy happiness...while crying in the bathroom.
Weirdly enough I LOVED the school part of nursing school. The knowledge. The studying. The reading. Most of my classmates were the opposite. Loved the clinicals, and the school part was what they had to get through. This is kind of when I knew what I had to do.
It's actually really hard to switch majors if you are nursing major. They even make you talk to a counselor who's actual job is to keep nursing students in nursing school. They also had to take the holds of my account (they control your classes, account, and degree). You have to really want to "quit."
Then I had to call the education department and I signed up for 21 credit hours (after nursing school, I thought I could do 21 credits....side note... education was a different kind of hard...)
At the time, it was the hardest thing I have ever had do. I didn't know if I was making the right choice and I had invested two years of money and time into a major that I left. Plus, they really try to talk you out of it :).
Looking back now, it was hard. REALLY hard... but it was also THE BEST decision of my entire life. I could go into way more detail, but basically, the timing, the learning experiences, and the progression of it were all the best things that ever happened to me. I became a student teacher at a charter school in Grand Junction (more on that in PART II), my mentor teacher became one of my best friends, and I got hired at that same school, which is truly the best job in the world.
All of it was crazy, seemed like bad timing, and pretty difficult logistically... but it turns out, each bit of craziness led me to exactly where I was supposed to be. I can't imagine where I would be if I hadn't made this "hard" decision.
So why the long post.... well come back tomorrow for PART II for the REALLY hard decision my husband and I are making and how it is affecting me personally and professionally.
This pictures are hints.... It's kind of crazy...